Of all the family members impacted by a child with ASD (autism spectrum disorder), it’s the siblings that will share the longest relationship with their autistic sister or brother.
From the initial diagnosis and then acceptance of their sibling’s condition to ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapy, and eventually, the long-term care of the individual after their parents are gone, it’s the siblings of autistic children who will go through a profound emotional journey.
Younger siblings of autistic children may worry that they did something to cause the autism or live in fear that they may be diagnosed themselves. At the same time, older siblings may become overly protective of their autistic brother or sister or highly embarrassed by their sensory-seeking behaviors in public. They may experience anger or rage if they or their parents become targets of harmful behavior from their autistic siblings.
At Heartlinks, we’ve learned that the impact of growing up with an autistic sibling will depend on several factors, including family dynamics, the child’s gender, birth order, temperament, and personality. While parents have little control over these factors, they can control how they support and provide for their neurotypical children.
Are you wondering how to strengthen your neurotypical child’s bond with their autistic sibling? Read on to learn more.
Why Support the Sibling of an Autistic Child?
Siblings of children with autism need regular support because they’ll most likely encounter challenges in understanding and interacting with their brother or sister. This can frequently lead to confusion, frustration, and isolation. Supporting them can help them navigate these complexities while fostering a positive dynamic and ensuring their emotional well-being is always considered alongside their autistic sibling’s needs.
How to Promote Positive Relationships between Siblings
At Heartlink’s, we’ve seen that a family raising an autistic child will face both challenges and opportunities for growth, thereby strengthening some aspects of family life while introducing stress in others. However, certain factors have been shown to reduce the stressors and strengthen the family.
1. Siblings Need to Understand Autism
Often, parents overestimate what their neurotypical child understands about autism. While an autistic child’s sibling may be able to explain what autism is, that certainly doesn’t mean they thoroughly understand it. Depending on their age, they may overhear your conversations or learn information online and develop an incorrect understanding of autism and its impact on the brain of their brother or sister. This is particularly true if the child exhibiting symptoms is a toddler or if they’re a teenager, as autism symptoms often become more pronounced or change in ways that could confuse siblings.
As a parent, it’s your responsibility to provide your neurotypical children with clear, developmentally appropriate explanations that can help address their fears and concerns head-on. By giving thoughtful explanations, you cannot only influence how an autistic child’s siblings perceive and interact with them but also boost their confidence.
2. Schedule One-on-One Time
It can be an incredibly demanding and stressful job taking care of a child on the spectrum. As a parent, you may be unaware that the time and energy you’ve spent caring for your neurodivergent child might be to the detriment of your other kids. Recognizing this imbalance and scheduling alone time with each sibling is critical. It can take many forms, such as a 10-minute nightly activity before bed or a longer 30-minute to an hour several times a week.
These occasions offer siblings a chance to engage in activities they enjoy, such as attending a monster truck race or another favorite outing. This is especially true if the activity is unsuitable for their neurodivergent sibling due to a sensory-processing disorder. What’s critical is to create specific, consistent opportunities for human connection that siblings of autistic children can count on. This will strengthen familial bonds and improve their self-esteem.
3. Celebrate Their Achievements
Often, families put tremendous effort into rewarding and praising their autistic child for any progress. For example, perhaps you’ve remarked how your child’s social skills have dramatically improved through the ABA shaping technique. This is an important and meaningful success that should be celebrated. However, it’s critical to extend the same level of recognition to siblings, even for accomplishments that might be seen as “normal” parts of development. Positive recognition from parents plays a crucial role in developing every child’s self-esteem. Celebrating everyone’s achievements as special and unique ensures that every child in the family feels appreciated and valued.
4. Encourage Meaningful Relationships
Sibling relationships are unique, and developing meaningful ones can be especially complicated when you factor in the challenges associated with autism. If your autistic child is often understimulated, you can encourage shared activities, like solving puzzles, to support these relationships.
Another way to foster meaningful connections is to teach your neurotypical child to mentor their autistic sibling. Let’s say your autistic child is learning to identify objects around the house using ABA tacting; add to that by encouraging your neurotypical son or daughter to name household items throughout the day. Combining this technique with speech therapy can increase your autistic child’s ability to communicate effectively.
5. Give Them Choice
Supporting siblings of autistic children means letting them choose their level of involvement and remaining reasonable with expectations. Non-verbal autism may demand extra patience and understanding due to communication challenges. While siblings will be able to take on the responsibility for their autistic brother or sister, it’s essential to respect their need for space and private time.
6. Make Them Feel Safe
Throughout much of the autistic informational material, making sure your home is safe for children with ASD is discussed. But what is rarely addressed is if your autistic son or daughter is exhibiting aggressive behavior towards their siblings, including biting or pushing. It’s vital to teach siblings how to respond appropriately in these instances, which usually involves getting help from a parent trained in appropriate ABA therapy to handle the situation. Parents should make it a priority to create a safe space for their neurotypical children to store their belongings and even retreat when they need to avoid their sibling’s aggressive behaviors.
7. No Preferential Treatment
The impact of autism on siblings is tremendous and life-long, but these brothers and sisters need to be treated as “normally” as possible. For instance, if an autistic child has many repetitive body movements, including spinning, finger-flicking, and hand-flapping, that are highly disruptive, their siblings must understand that these behaviors are something they can’t control. The reason their autistic brother is not getting punished is that these types of stimming are being used as a form of emotional regulation and are being addressed in regular ABA therapy sessions. It’s important to strive for continuity in responsibilities and privileges among all children, adjusting them based on individual abilities rather than assumptions.
When to Ask for Professional Help
Professional help may be necessary when the sibling relationship negatively affects the neurotypical child’s well-being, the parents feel overwhelmed, and support or communication between the siblings has broken down. Seeking professional help early can provide all family members the tools to address whatever challenges they face effectively.
ABA Therapy
ABA therapy is considered the gold medal of autism therapy. Once your child has been diagnosed with autism, ABA therapy will most likely be recommended. Over twenty teaching techniques exist under the ABA umbrella, such as discrete trial training (DTT), errorless learning, punishment and reinforcement, and error correction. These techniques offer many ways to approach behavioral, social, and skill development goals for your autistic child.
Counseling and Therapy Options
Seeking professional help can strengthen the family unit, help every member navigate an autism diagnosis, and strengthen relationships.
- Early autism intervention is especially crucial, as it not only supports the child with autism in developing skills but also provides the entire family with tools to understand and empathize, fostering closer connections among all members.
- Family therapy can improve communication, understanding, and compassion and foster stronger relationships among family members.
- In the meantime, individual therapy can offer a safe harbor for siblings of autistic children to say what’s really on their minds and learn about coping strategies.
- Lastly, group therapy allows siblings to get to know peers with similar experiences, fostering an understanding of social skills and learning practical techniques for handling sibling dynamics.
Together, these approaches help create a supportive environment for siblings to thrive.
Building Relationships with Heartlinks
It is said that a well-developed sibling relationship fosters mutual understanding, support, and a lifelong bond that strengthens over time. Yet, when one sibling has autism, this dynamic can bring unique challenges and opportunities for growth. While the research into this familial relationship type is limited, we know the importance of fostering supportive dynamics. As the parent to both children, you play a crucial role in nurturing positive sibling relationships. So, just as you’ve learned to be proactive with your autistic child, you’ll need to know to do the same for your neurotypical one, too, because it is equally important.
For more information on how Heartlinke can help, including our wide variety of ABA therapy services, contact us today.